679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. But one surefire way to kill the spark? The man I'm seeing enjoys my sexual prowlness but I feel that it's my eagerness and sense of adventure in bed he likes. This issue needs to be dealt with in a healthy, constructive way. reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): A Dominique Sisley is a London-based journalist who writes a lot about sex, relationships, and how strange humans are. They all laughed at this which in turn made me feel sick to my stomach.Ufortuatley I had to urinate at this poit and got up to use the restroom. Dear Alice, My girlfriend and I have been having sex with each other for the last six months. Login first For her, the answer lies in trying to find validation outside of the bedroom, and to stop mythologizing any former lovers. I said hello as I passed the hall an lets just say you could hear a pin drop.Let me say this first of all my FI is the most wondeful woman I have ever met, she is smart, supportive, intelligent,successful and honestly the sexiest most satisfying lover I have ever had the pleasure of being with. One of her friends asked how I compared to and old lover of hers, specifically a friend of hers that she still works with.In no uncertein terms she said that her ex( the coworker) was better than me in bed only because he had a much larger penis( I am average in every sense of the word in that department)but that that she thought I was terrfic in bed and wouldnt change anything except for maybe that one thing(my penis). According to author and relationship expert, , its only natural to start thinking of them as a benchmark. I have never been single or had problems getting dates. female Our likes and dislikes evolve and fluctuate, from day to day and from year to year. How can i be insecure about something that is not speculative anymore? You may provide consistency and fidelity. But hes not rocking your world between the sheets. There are plenty of infinitely better ways to bring up any issues regarding sex than by constantly referring to a prior relationship. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Sharing his dilemma on Reddit, the 19-year-old explained how he's been seeing his partner for about a month and they just consummated their relationship, I let my mum sleep with my husband a couple of times a week, people call us sick and twisted but I dont mind, woman thought she was being stood up by her Tinder date after he forgot his wallet, her mum confessed to being in love with her fiance, woman blasted her bridezilla sister who didnt invite her disabled husband to her wedding, Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO). male He is lovely and tells me how much he loves me everyday and says that Im the love of his life, and I feel the same way. So, what do you do when your partner isnt the best sex youve ever had? After all, you don't need to be a sexpert to know it takes a little time to work out each other's likes and dislikes. a bore in bed? Parson is described as standing 6-foot-1 and weighing 190 pounds. reader, Candid Cally+, writes (31 October 2012): A Unfortunately for one man, this is the exact scenario he's found himself in with his new girlfriend. Thats not something you should hold against him, necessarily. - InsecureGirl. Tell him what you want. Okay, remember how we agreed to leave any embarrassment at the bedroom door? ', "And she was kinda dismissive and just said 'yeah.'". Addressing those underlying issues will inevitably help with the emotional side of sex, which will mean more enjoyment of it all round. Sounds like you need to have a talk with this guy and tell him that this openness on a private aspect of your marriage is hurting you. A Still not sure what to do about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances? Maybe an ex of his really liked something that just doesnt do it for you. Guys can't read your mind and it gets tiring risking rejection. reader, xtbone151x+, writes (26 June 2013): A 2021 Chip Chick Media Inc. All rights reserved. For more relationship stories, this woman thought she was being stood up by her Tinder date after he forgot his wallet but it was SO much worse. It comes with the turf. Sadly, in western society, a mans pleasure during sex is still sometimes seen as an essential, and a womans as an optional bonus. Just because your partner happened to have had a great experience with his ex does not mean he will not experience something as good or even better with you. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. Do I care how she got that way way, sexually speaking? Its time to explore. View our online Press Pack. She wasnt shy or uptight, and we were comfortable with each other., But earlier this year, Maria began seeing someone new, and although they get on well, the connection just isnt the same. It fucked me up bad, he wrote, in a post that ended up ", Another added: "She had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with her ex at all. You may provide consistency and fidelity. reader, OhGetReal+, writes (16 October 2010): A I used to go out with, who I wont name, because he was so wild in bed. So you can either accept it or leave because I cant end these relationships. At first, he thought it had gone pretty well - especially when she said she'd finished three times and had one of the best orgasms of her life. , It fucked me up bad, he wrote, in a post that ended up attracting more than 8,000 conciliatory responses (the majority of which called for him to end the relationship immediately). The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. There are plenty of dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have been told theyre disappointing in bed or not the best their partner has ever had. Sometimes, this news is broken bluntly and without fear (one redditor mentions feeling humiliated after his girlfriend complained about his size, before declaring that the sex in her previous relationship had been way better). Because if he was, it would likely be down to a lack of chemistry between you, and you wouldnt want him in your bed at all. heartbroken, his ex, insecure, self esteem. Practice really does make perfect when it comes to sex. The weighted average of your qualities should offset any lingering insecurities., Its a theory that might not work for everyone, but Clara seems content with it. Its not just the unsatisfied partner that suffers, either. It's an immature and insensitive thing to say. He probably thinks you are very attractive otherwise he wouldn't be with you right now. Dont expect him to magically know what you want by telepathy. 105. No, thank you. There are plenty of articles on the topic, too, which all offer consolatory platitudes about how best to handle terminal sexual chemistry. Six months after escaping a toxic and tempestuous three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had finally started to settle down. If you want (and only if you want) you can ask what it is that he misses or wants more of during sex. reader, So_Very_Confused+, writes (26 December 2012): A WebThe reason you think sex with your ex was better is because youre not taking responsibility for your sex life and your relationship right now. Her boyfriend has had serious relationships before her, so she thinks that perhaps shes struggling with insecurity since this is her first real relationship in contrast. His sexual past might have been good but they won't compare to how his experience will be with you. My (23M) girlfriend (22F) just told me she had better sexual experiences with her ex which is why her libido towards me is so low. reader, CindyCares+, writes (26 December 2012): A You need to practice! Heart-to-Heart Talk: His Best Sex was His Ex! Seems like a red flag if I ever saw one. Ouch, right? Still not sure what to do about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances? Copyright A Conscious Rethink. A big part of your problem might be that you just havent gotten to know each others bodies well enough yet. If no, then you might want to consider another direction for you life. If you feel awkward about being physical with your partner or expressing your sexuality in any way, that will hinder the likelihood of you enjoying sex with your partner more than your 'lack of experience' will. We should learn that some things are better left unspokensuch as having an ex that banged like a shit house door and not very classy, posting online for everyone to read that he liked the sex skills of his former partner. Were always going to have that one perfect tango partner, she explains. Here's what men would love more women to do in bed. Bridestory Sex is only great when its immensely pleasurable for both people involved, so by doing your bit to give him the pleasure he likes, hell be more inclined to put the extra effort in to giving you the please you like. Also keep in mind that the ex is an ex for a reason. The next morning over breakfast she brought up what she said and apologized for it. It's fine to be honest, but sometimes that honesty needs to be expressed in the right context, otherwise not at all. | Agt 22, 2016 | 3:00. Its still not anywhere near as good as it was with my ex, but its passable. Then I was depressed., Of course, if youre the one on the receiving end of this criticism, that kind of honesty can be hard to take. Not only has he told you, the ex is better in bed, he has also told friends and relatives. And that is something that cannot be known until you both actually experience making love for the first time. I have read similar posting where the man is just told to "get over it" or " sex isnt everting" but how can you not feel disappointed when someone out did you in most personal way a man can be with a woman? Why even say anything? It's one thing to communicate with your spouse about this issue, but to pore over social media about it is wrong and hurtful. You are being WAY too nice. I think you're right to be hurt. Then she quickly stated that it doesn't mean anything to her, that I am a wonderful lover and that she would never stay in a relationship much less marry someone that did not satisfy her in bed.She began cry and started to tell me how the emotion she has during our lovemaking is stronger than anything she has ever felt. Hes The reason I am writing is regarding two issues. Have you two discussed sex and what it is that he seemingly wants that he isn't getting? She had also, completely unexpectedly, fallen in love. Frankly, I would question why OP's husband would be discussing an ex at all, especially after 4 years of marriage. First of all, yikes! 4 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Bad In Bed First of all, lets have a look at a few reasons why your boyfriend might not currently be a good lover. And youre wondering if theres anything you can do about it. I am far from promiscous as my total number of guys I have slept with is 4 (I am 38 years old). 1. Once you have 'mastered' this the rest would be up to the sexual connection between you and your partner. Seems like a red flag if I ever saw one. He was well-dressed, spiritually-attuned and financially stable. Another added: "She had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with her ex at all. The problem, she says, lies mostly in her new girlfriends insecurity shes worried that Maria, a bisexual, will leave her for a man which is making her more self-aware in bed. Do when your partner isnt the best sex youve ever had December 2012 ): 2021... To magically know what you want by telepathy tango partner, she explains also keep mind! Absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with ex... Was his ex, but sometimes that honesty needs to be honest, but its passable just... And it gets tiring risking rejection, SE1 9GF and from year boyfriend said his ex was better in bed year started... 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