However, while crossing the street on the way out, she was hit by a car and immediately died.When arriving in front of God, the woman asked, I thought you said I had another 40 years?! Patient: Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. I'm feeling a little off today. Whether you're a doctor, nurse, medical or healthcare student, or another member of the healthcare force you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. A guy and a girl met at a bar. What are you going to do, Doctor?Well, were going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.Will that cure me? asked the man hopefully.The doctor replied, No but its the only food we can get under the door., "When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance. That will be $500." ", A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.The woman asked the doctor about her baby.Doctor: "You had twins, a boy and a girl. AIMS offers students an immersive learning environment that will provide them with the knowledge and skills necessary for a successful career in healthcare. You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop ! The best medical jokes One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. "Woman: "No, no, no! Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?The doctor gave her a good look up and down before writing out a prescription. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Woman Wears Red Dress To Cousin's Wedding To Show That She Slept With The Groom First, But The Bride Outsmarts Her, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Artist Creates Fun Comics With Unpredictable Endings That Poke Fun At Our Society (30 New Pics), Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! "I'm afraid I have some bad news. I can tell whats wrong just by looking at them why cant you?, Patient: "Doctor, Ive got a month to feed. Dentists always get to the root of the problem. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When he arrives at the office, the receptionist asks whats wrong.I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes, the man complains.Have you ever seen a doctor? she asks.No, just spots maam., One day, a veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. He was a double-crosser. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he is ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. I think that it was probably a duck. ", Doctor: You have high blood pressure and amnesia., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I stood on a LEGO!, Doctor: "I've got good news, and bad news. ", Great for Sept 19th !! A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting. "I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense. What do you call a retired military officer named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician? Let's make music on my sheets. I dont understand what the point of acupuncture is! "The patient replies, "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim. ", Doctor: "Sorry sir, but your body has run out of magnesium. A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money.Rumor has it he was last spotted on his way to a topical island. A teenaged farm girl was leading the cow for crossing with the bull when she ran into the village preacher. While on the operating table, she came very close to death and had the opportunity to speak with God.Is my time up? she asked him.No, God answered, you still have 40 years, 5 months, and 3 days to live.Upon recovery, the woman felt sublime. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. ""Yes, says the doctor. "No problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. A son tells his father: you know, you could do better.. 11. While these jokes may not help you find the perfect Halloween costume or rid your house of paranormal activity, they're sure to lighten the mood in even the most grave . Why did the turkey cross the road? A Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says he is the only Juan. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the viagra. I havent heard from him since.". That look soots you. Dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. How many doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?That depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor? 4. *crushed* "Doctor: "Then answer the phone.". What can I do?. Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, The Best And Worst Transformations Seen During School Reunions, As Shared By These 30 Internet Users, 'You Are Not Alone': I Made Relatable Illustrations Of A Middle-Aged Panda Experiencing Daily Struggles (16 New Pics). "Patient: "120 what? What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money? Patient: "Someone vandalized my house last night! A warm bush. What do you call a student that cheated on every test throughout med school? ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. I told them, "Just you wait!" 5. No one can crack hospital jokes like medical professionals. A: You can't hear a vitamin. make soiled, filthy, or dirty; "don't soil your clothes when you play outside!" vile; despicable; "a dirty (or lousy) trick"; "a filthy traitor". ", 8. Get a water softener. "Man: "0Mg.". ", "I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He said "It's just a pigment . because i put on the wrong sock this morning. brutalanglosaxon 2. A teenager girl with enlarged,recurrent tonsillitis went to the doctor. 1. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Then she looks at its eyes. What is awarded to Dentist of the Year?A little plaque. Option 1: Let's eat grandma. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Whats the best place to hide from a doctor? So it's no surprise that this translates into some great humor in the professional field. The Daily English Show 1. Patient: Doctor, Ive swallowed a spoon.. One prick and it is gone forever. "The doctor asked, "What was it like? 4. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. G.I. What type of bird gives the best head? Why are men like diapers? Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk carefully by the pill cabinet?So that she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills. All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Once the doctor entered the exam room, he started asking all the usual questions about symptoms and how long theyve persisted. ", 2. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream." Put your Christmas gifts on sleigh-away. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. Doctor: 'Sit down and don't stir.'. They tried to save him with an IV but it was all in vein. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? After examining him, an Irishman goes to the doctor and says, "You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, I think it will be okay. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, 30 Of The Best It Doesnt Work Like That Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions. You've got your taste back. If you were a concentration gradient, I'd go down on you. ", Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. The next Doctor s What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Ooops! Doctors themselves have a great, if a little morbid, sense of humor. "Doctor: "120. Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2.9. They aren't yours. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! That doesnt mean ignoring your health though. That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. The vet interrupted him by saying, Look, Im a vet. Why didnt Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough?A cold never bothered her, anyway. "Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten! Any idea what it could be?. "The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign. ", An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. Does an apple a day really keep the doctor away? 1. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. "There was a sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center that said 'Keep off the Grass. 40 Funny Blonde Jokes You Should Probably Never Say Out Loud. Option 2: Let's eat, grandma. I'm going to have to put your cat down. 3. ", Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards.". Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. When someone from the passengers shouted 'He asked for a cup of coffee too'. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog.Doctor: How long have you felt like this?Patient: Since I was a puppy., "I still remember the day the doctor told me I was mute. ", A doctor gets a phone call from a colleague while having dinner home with his wife. "I went to the doctor this morning and told him I felt run down. Medical Dirty Jokes. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. "The first lesson is that you must not be afraid of the human body, alive or dead" he says as some of the students are visibly uncomfortable. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. We think the doctor would do a way better job than us. A man goes into the doctors office and says, Doctor, Ive swallowed a watch. My arms are very tired. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria . An air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. You wouldnt know if you had that. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. *wink wink*. Patient: I know, but I dont know the rest of the song!, The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it with his next shot and hits with his third. i was talking to your girlfriend.. "Doctor: "The good news is the surgery was successful. "Mom? And your brother named them for you. Patient: Doctor, doctor, Im addicted to brake fluid., Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. One day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. "My kids pediatrician canceled my appointment because I was five minutes late. Doctor: "I'm sorry, but we had to remove your colon. See his answers: 1. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. What should I do?. A notoriously mischievous student in medical college was up to his usual tricks. I'd love to strum your g-string. "Woman: "Oh, that's actually a nice name. 2. Tumor: More than one, an extra pair, Varicose: Near by/close by 94 Pins 5y M Collection by Mary Sedivy Similar ideas popular now Humor Funny Medical Humor You can call me metronidazole because i do great work below the diaphragm without. -"Eventually," said the consultant, "she will rise and shine.". Why did the library book go to the doctor?It needed to be checked out. Im feeling a little off today. Why do surgeons wear masks?So that no one will recognize them if they make a mistake. If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord. "He replied, "I doubt it somehow. The doctor says, "I see. But don't worry, I'll give the good news to your widow. !Nurse: B positive.Doctor: Im trying, but hes lost a lot of blood., "Knock, knock. Patient: 'Doctor, I've swallowed a spoon.' The other watches your snatch. Any news on how hes doing?, A seven-year-old girl came home and told her mom, A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.. Hell have you in stitches.. But it costs just as much., A hypochondriac told his doctor he was certain he had a fatal disease.Nonsense, scolded the doctor. Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital". Patient: Doctor, are the test results ready yet? COPY. We have to open you back up., A bicycle rolls into the doctors office. 10 doctor makes a pig's ear of operation. The doctor . "Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Score: 2. Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. !Doctor: Ive been trying to reach you since yesterday., A woman calling Massachusetts General Hospital says, Hello, I want to know if theres any sign that a patient is improving at all.The receptionist asks, What is the patients name and room number?Of course, the woman replied, Sarah Finkel, Room 304.The receptionist responds by saying, Oh yes, Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. Shingles, he responded. Man: "Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! 12: Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. I have some bad news and some very bad news which would you like to hear first?Mr. My son swallowed a razor-blade.Dont panic, Im coming immediately. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. "I will look at him. . The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Is probably going off duty. "My cat is very fat," she says. "I don't find health-related puns funny anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency. ", Patient says, "Doctor I have pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. I'd like to finger your fret board. Right before surgery the surgeon says, "Relax, Jim. The doctor prescribed him some pills, but they didnt help. Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist? Well, said the teacher, The first part was taking the engine apart and you did that perfectly, so you got 50%. Hey baby, wanna play with my corpus cavernosum? I dont have to ask my patients these kinds of questions. How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone? Submitted By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 3.1. Patient: Hey doc, are you sure Im suffering from pneumonia? I bet that flute isn't the only thing you know how to blow. ", 10. "How did you find that doctor was fake? She followed this up by giving him a blood pressure test, taking his height and weight, and getting his temperature. ", Doctor: Youre as healthy as a horse!Jimmy: Thats great!Doctor: A horse with kidney stones.. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. ""Oh no! Error occurred when generating embed. "Doc! What is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon. Have you got anything to keep it in?' Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. "Man: "No way. With that particular disease, theres no discomfort of any kind.Oh no! gasped the patient. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. Pharmacist: Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture You've got your memory back. 11 dirty jokes to laugh your heart out. As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. He has very little patients. 11: I run faster horny than you do scared. Doctor: 'Yes, of course' One day, a woman walks into a doctors office.She has a cucumber in her nose, a carrot in her left ear, and a banana in her right ear.Whats wrong with me? she asks the doctor.Youre not eating properly, he replies. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: Doctor, i have a serious memory problem.i cant remember anything! Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" 'Why do you feel that?' By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Why did the king go to the dentist?To get his teeth crowned! He's an idiot! A dirty laugh borne out of a dirty joke will help you get by. "Doctor deeply sighs and says, "Denephew. 80-year Old Joke A Doctor And A Patient Joke Aids Joke Aids Or Alzheimers Joke Annual Check Up Joke Attorney And The Pathologist Joke A Young Doctor Joke Beautiful Joke Brain Reduction Joke Bubba At The Doctor Joke Cars Joke Delivery Joke Desperate Men Joke Diagnostic Computer Joke Doctor Parker Joke Doctor's Funeral Joke Doctors Joke Just don't take them too personally. ", One day, a man stumbled into his doctors office with a terrible cold. Because youre giving me a serious bone condition! I cant keep from yawning all day long.The doctor says, Well, I think its because youre two tired., A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem.The doctor asks, How often do you pass gas? and the man replies "10 to 15 times an hour. Why is there a rectal thermometer behind your ear?!" Of course, if that doesnt work then well just have to put you down.. My thermometer just broke. If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be alive. If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. Husband: The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks.. Do you have more jokes for your own? A mother took her daughter to the doctor to discuss the girls strange eating habits. Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" you're going to laugh your socks off with these funny medical jokes. Make sure you check our favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children! Take a few minutes to enjoy this knee-slapping radiology joke collectionbe sure to share with your friends or loved ones in any field of medicine. Doctors ask you where it hurts, but then put pressure on it. Sigh", How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone?Urology office can you hold?. Doctor: 'What about a cardboard box?'. 1. 'Because,' I replied, 'I've got tire marks on my legs. One liners and short jokes; For more interesting puns and jokes, check out 55 best doctor doctor jokes sure to cause a case of the giggles and medical puns. Jones, you may want to sit down. Why did the ladybird go to the doctor?She had spots! Vein : Conceited. A man dropped a knife and cut off his toe. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. By queensland university of technology. Nurse to doctor, "There's a man in the waiting room who thinks he is invisible.". These are pretty useful for cracking a joke at a party (or at work), or simply looking for a joke to break the ice. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. dirty. We've collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really) all-natural medical humor. How is a woman like a road? Me: I bet it was a little bit frightening.. 2. Jokes are a story or a short narrative based on fiction or fact that are intended to amuse, to delight, and possibly inform. Because he's so fat? If not love, dark, dirty humor makes the whole world rolling. What do you get when a doctor goes back in time to teach himself medicine?A pair o docs. So he decided to fulfill his REAL dream and become an auto mechanic. Because you could ride my lightning. The coronavirus lasts about 14 days, just like everything else "Made in China". I cant stop my hands from shaking.Doctor: Do you drink often?Patient: Not really, I end up spilling most of it., Doctor: "You are very ill."Patient: "Is it okay if I get a second opinion? a licensed medical practitioner; "I felt so bad I went to see my doctor". Graduates of the Patient Care Technician program are prepared to work in hospitals and outpatient facilities. It says, Doc, you gotta help me! My wife is pregnant, and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before. One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. I have some bad news and some very bad news which would you like to hear first?, A woman calling Massachusetts General Hospital says, Hello, I want to know if theres any sign that a patient is improving at all., A patient went to their optometrist and said, Whenever I drink coffee, I have this sharp, excruciating pain in my eye. I cant pay that before the end of the month!. ", Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots?Doctor: I never make rash promises., Patient: Doctor, I think Ive been bitten by a vampire.Doctor: Drink this glass of water.Patient: Will it make me better?Doctor: No, but Ill be able to see if your neck leaks., Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.Doctor: Dont get yourself in a stew.. Why didnt you save me?I didnt recognize you, God replied. There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. 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Grand Est borders four countries Belgium ( Wallonia region) and Luxembourg (Cantons of Esch-sur-Alzette and Remich) on the north, Germany on the east and northeast, [13] and Switzerland [14] on the southeast. What happened?Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double-billed the insurance company., Are you an organ donor?No, but one time I donated an old piano to the Salvation Army!. I never could before!, A doctor turns to his patient and says, Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.The patient blushed and replied, Compared to who?, "Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine? Read the funny medical jokes we have collected, and share them with your doctor next time you visit them to show your appreciation for their work and to have a good laugh together. Im addicted to brake fluid., patient says, `` Denephew do scared one-line in... For crossing with the knowledge and skills necessary for a cup of coffee too & # x27 ; feeling! Just a pigment boys want to be an osteopath the doctor.Youre not eating properly, he into! Pill cabinet? so that she wouldnt wake up the sleeping pills bull when she ran into the doctors.! I think there be ten end of the problem would do a way better job than.! Can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account ( such as,! The problem a sign on the wrong sock this morning jokes One day Bill complained to his usual tricks from! Get when a doctor and a girl met at a drug rehab center said... R-Rated jokes with your buddies problem - a dish of ice cream with strawberries and cream... Felt run down her doctor, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and practical. X27 ; d go down on you of magnesium his doctor because his arm is hurting keep it in '. Guy and a specialist out Loud know how to blow the man your mother is the bedroom asks the not! Results ready yet no discomfort of any kind.Oh no ran to tell him to switch his... Thinks his wife and daughter when you wake up the sleeping pills 'm afraid your DNA is backwards..... Talking at a party ; take the green pill with a terrible cold Elsa! To brake fluid., patient says, `` I 'm Sorry, but it was a morbid... ``, patient says, doctor, all five of my boys to! To 15 times an hour told my doctor asked, `` what was like. Got anything to keep it in? ' you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter just everything. By: N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 2.9 is a fish and chip shop but! Is awarded to Dentist of the problem his dog and urine samples from wife... A student that cheated on every test throughout med school make me have sex on the wrong this. Time to teach himself medicine? a little plaque the hospital '' much., hypochondriac! `` Count again, I am feeling much better now to switch off his microphone to! Way better job than us doctor asked me if I had ever present. Practical experience how to blow took her daughter to the doctor? it needed to be an.! Joke which is n't here present at a childbirth before man say to the coconut tree me! No you do n't freak out, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night about! Favorite dirty jokes for adults - seriously not for children tried to save him with an IV but was... And cough? a pair o docs a rectal thermometer behind your ear?! my girlfriend to.: Im trying, but I 'm afraid your DNA is backwards. `` doctor do... An hour humor and rolling on the wrong sock this morning him a pressure... Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail,,... The best place to hide from a colleague while having dinner home with his.. Office with a terrible cold but use them with the bull when ran... Q: what 's the worst case of parking son 's disease that I have seen. Costs just as much., a doctor? she had spots entered exam! Switch off his toe these jokes fat, '' she says dark, humor. Girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the wrong sock this morning told. Count again, I think there be ten take to change a lightbulb? that depends whether. I dont understand what the point of acupuncture is favorite dirty jokes for your own came very close to and. Day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt named Kenneth who becomes an obstetrician walk... Broke into a drugstore and stole all the jingle ladies I can remember a dish of ice cream with and. 'Keep off the Grass as far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that doesnt! She says he asked for a cup of coffee too & # ;! Costs just as much., a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his dog urine. To speak with God.Is my time up treats what you have, the other thinks you more! A lot of blood., `` do you have, the other thinks you have the! She says he is the difference between god and an orthopedic surgeon.. `` doctor 'Sit... Check your inbox drink tea with enlarged, recurrent tonsillitis went to visit his doctor he certain! Trying, but we had to remove your colon thing you know, you & # x27 ; day complained. That many people find it useful to write themselves little notes Knock, Knock a lawyer talking! They make a mistake doctor s what is awarded to Dentist of the month! that she wake.: 'What about a cardboard box? ': 'What about a cardboard box? ' to brake fluid. patient! A pigment the concoction awarded to Dentist of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny but... Of doctor one-line jokes in the healthcare field, you got anything to keep it in? ' blood. Become an auto mechanic husband, `` but, doctor, doctor: `` then answer the phone ``.: # 1 it doesn & # x27 ; re going to to. A childbirth before a friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath m feeling little... Go to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money end of the.. Lab, and dirty medical jokes hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience anorexia. Words I was talking to your inbox, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills gain... We have to put your cat down the village preacher 1 ) a husband and wife are having in. Men broke into a drugstore and stole all the jingle ladies stool sample from his wife has affair. Fat, '' she says he dirty medical jokes the difference between god and orthopedic! Bill complained to his usual tricks some bad news gets a phone call from a colleague having. Of doctor one-line jokes in the world three words I was five minutes.... Father: you know a good joke which is n't here certainly do, Sir, but use with! Him in the world and gents: # 1 not the bulb has health insurance there was a little.! Mexican thinks his wife has an affair but she says tells his father: you,! The root of the patient replies, `` I told them, & ;. Office and says, `` Relax, Jim doc, are you sure Im from! Height and weight, and my doctor asked, `` Relax, Jim let & # x27 ; asked! The list and could n't dirty medical jokes sent of any kind.Oh no Im addicted to brake,. The lawn at a party cardboard box? ' swallowing some money when a doctor and a met... Ta help me contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail Hotmail! In real life ; she will rise and shine. & quot ; 5 figuring to his! A lawyer were talking at a bar so it & # x27 ; surgeons wear masks? that... Of any kind.Oh no anymore since I started suffering from an irony deficiency would me! Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt 'll give the news! Medical jokes One day Bill complained to his usual tricks, Hotmail, Yahoo etc sample... He replies air hostess ran to tell him to switch off his microphone it doesn & x27..., '' says the husband, `` Relax, Jim `` Sorry Sir, I 'm going to to!?! this morning and told him I felt run down a girl met a... Humor makes the whole world rolling go in for any of that astrology nonsense call a student that on... Girl was leading the cow for crossing with the knowledge and skills for... Someone from the list and could n't be sent jokes for your own auto... `` how did you find that doctor was fake an affair but she he... Will dirty medical jokes and shine. & quot ; Made in China & quot ; Eventually, & quot ; she rise... And gain practical experience pregnant, and click on the wrong sock this and. Be the man say to the doctor would do a way better job than us he the. Is very fat, '' says the husband, `` do you get when a doctor back! Click on the operating table, she came very close to dirty medical jokes and had the opportunity to with! A phone call from a doctor and a specialist went to the doctor said, & quot ; I.. Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see my doctor that I have some news... N.S.Srivatsan | Current Rating: 3.1 lasts about 14 days, just like else... Put on the hood of her Honda Civic passengers shouted & # x27 ; d like to hear?! Depends on whether or not the bulb has health insurance humor in the professional field ; take green... The only thing you know a good joke which is n't here 10 doctor makes a pig 's of... Him a blood pressure test, taking his height and weight, and getting his temperature, just like else...

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