sons who treat their mothers poorly

A man's relationship with his mother will differ from a significant other relationship / casual dating situation. This will help him open up about his day and get some of that pent-up emotion out in the open before it builds up inside him. When Your Grown Child Makes Bad Decisions | Guide for Parents. 2. Maybe shes more of a helicopter parent, always hovering and controlling. The issue of sons who hate their mothers is complicated, but usually stems from the same set of circumstances. A son will not simply begin hating his mother overnight. Even in these situations, though, the child still treats the parent deferentially and the parent continues to think of the child in his appropriate role. For example, issues such as in-laws, marriage, and even divorce were common reasons a son would find estrangement necessary. The son may have felt abandoned by his mother or that the mother was uninterested in him. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. Mothers are supposed to love their children equally, but most of us know thats not always the case. This is a complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness. The login page will open in a new tab. Adult children learn by watching us, so if they see us making mistakes, then its natural for them to think that doing the same thing would be okay too! I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. This problem can have serious consequences for both the mother and the son, including feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and even depression. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-1-0'); The relationship between a mother and son is extremely important to a males upbringing, just as the father-son relationship is. Dating a woman is a partnership. This way, they can mend their relationship. Again, why do sons treat their mothers poorly? If you want your son to grow into a healthy young man with good self-esteem, then you need to give him room for growth. Related Heres how to set boundaries for your in-laws. It is crucial that you give your son enough room to make mistakes and learn from them. Tell your child how their behavior is affecting you. Some adult children deliberately abuse their parents and, if that is the case, then you should avoid this step. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_11',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); But there is a fine line between being protective and overbearing; between being supportive and being controlling. A mother-son relationship is one of the most important relationships a man can have. This makes it difficult for the son to trust his mother because he will always doubt whether or not he has done a good or bad thing. This can be a result of the mother feeling insecure in her own relationship with her son, or feeling like shes not getting enough attention from him. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. Its normal for adult sons to have conflicts with their mothers. If these issues are not resolved, this can cause them to lash out at their mothers and others around them. Some personality disorders can cause a person to have a warped perspective on themselves and others. In addition, the study showed that divorce also affects a sons outlook towards his parents and mother, specifically. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? its a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son. The mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by media depictions of what it means to be a man. A son is a lot like a reflection of you. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. You might have heard the old saying, Mother knows best. But why do some sons have difficulty listening to or respecting their mothers? In these situations, the son may be left feeling confused and angry. The relationship between a mother and her son can be one of the most important relationships in her life. My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices). If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! It is possible for a man who hates his mother to still find happy relationships as an adult, but there will be a disordered component, too. He hides his relationships from his mother. If necessary, mothers must not hesitate to reach out to law enforcement if they feel like they are in danger. From superhero movies likeSpider-ManandBatmanto music videos featuring artists likeDrakeandChris Brown, young men are exposed to a range of masculine behaviors that they may not be equipped to handle. Or perhaps she has nurtured him to her greatest ability. Your email address will not be published. Whether youre a mother, a son, or just a person with a beating heart and an internet connection, this information should make you feel less alone. Well look at these below.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_7',151,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Are you having trouble with your children? Your son may want to emulate your behavior, so its important to be an example of healthy relationships by being kind, calm, and patient. Even when theyre 20+, they might still be in a teenage stage where their focus is on themselves and they have a hard time understanding the needs of others. That might sound strange, but it makes sense, considering how much time mothers spend helping their sons grow up. A manipulative, overprotective, abusive, or controlling mother makes for a toxic relationship between a mother and son. Adult sons are often influenced by these medias depiction of men as powerful and dominant, which can cause them to feel like they need to fit that image. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. The overly controlling mother This form of parenting is seen quite often in mother-daughter relationships. Mothers Should Not Judge Their Sons Too Much. Image credits depositphotos.com/stock-photo-parents-talking-son-bench-park. This can lead to a cycle of poor treatment and resentment. Instead it takes two to raise a healthy, happy son: a mother and a father. Where Can I Send My Out Of Control Teenager |20 BEST PLACES, 35 Reasons For Marrying Your First Love (Pros & cons), Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me | 45 Sign Hes Cheatin. 6. When the relationship is unhealthy, it can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives. She may also cause him to feel like shes trying to control his life. Then, I got a call back that no . Its also important to talk to him about his feelings and how it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him. She bad-mouths her sons girlfriend or spouse. One of the most important things you can do to create a healthy relationship with your son is to let him make his own decisions. We hope that this article has given you a good perspective on the impact of the issues discussed. Yet, some also say its because of something more covert such as a slyly, manipulative mother. Sons who treat their mothers poorly aren't just hurting themselves. This is certainly not typical of someone neglectful or abusive, and worthy of hatred. First, try to avoid criticism. eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_13',197,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[120,600],'ciprofamily_com-box-4','ezslot_14',197,'0','1']));.box-4-multi-197{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}This article will explore the reasons why some sons treat their mothers poorly and offer advice on how to break the cycle. It will make him feel like he is not good enough or has done something wrong. It could also give you some insight into whats going on in his life, which can help you be more supportive of him as he grows up. A son who treats his mother poorly might feel too restricted or micromanaged, or he's going through some issues. One of the most common rules kids learn from parents regardless of culture and background is to not tell lies, so it comes as a shock when it seems your own mother is doing it. An overly controlling mother is also someone who wants to have the final say in how her son lives his life. 91 4 A scheming mother who is overstepping boundaries will try to control every aspect of her sons relationships without regard for his needs, wants, or desires. Renowned clinical psychologist and respected university professor, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books. Tell him what he did and why it was the right thing to do. When a son grows up in an abusive household, their relationship with their mother is often strained. In some cases, this behavior may be a cry for help. And no one thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers. 6 Ways To Keep The Zen! The people youre son (and anyone) chooses to hang around with have a huge impact on their lives, its something to take very seriously. This can cause confusion and frustration for the son and may lead to disrespectful behavior. Though traits of NPD may show up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed in early adulthood. It could result from many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental illness. Lastly, if you want your son to grow up to be a responsible adult, it is important that you respect him as an adult. If hes into something like woodworking or knitting, be supportive by helping him find resources for learning more about it, or even just encouraging him to pursue his passion. Sons in these relationships will feel obligated to help their mothers through their problems and issues constantly. Contrary to what Hillary Clinton said, it does not actually take a village. When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). Whatever the reason, I feel sorry for any child who disrespects their mom and misses out on one of the most important nurturing and loving relationships they will ever have. The son may feel like his mom doesnt understand or care about him. Little Ninja Parenting is supported by participation in affiliate programs. The son feels like hes not good enough for his mother. All rights reserved 2022-2023 Copyright HowChimp.com. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. Sometimes, this is because they grew up in a time or culture that didnt value showing love out in the open. Some online communities also provide access to various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar experiences. If a mother cannot let her son live his own life and continues to stick her nose in where it does not belong, a hateful son may distance himself from her permanently. This could be because the mother cheated on her husband or because she remarried and her new partner adopted or had another child. 2. They may have this hate due to a controlling mother; physical or mental abuse; a mother overstepping boundaries; or being treated differently than a sibling. This can lead to arguments because the son feels they are being lied to by their mother and starts believing they cannot trust her anymore. This is usually tied to the mothers personal loneliness. This is not healthy. The study found that participants listed mental health issues and emotional abuse as reasons for their estrangements. Mothers are often the first person to love you, care for you, and to show you what it means to be a parent. Their mothers are over-involved in their lives. Its important for mothers to have their own independent source of self-worth and not put such a burden on their sons. Controlling mothers also believe their sons are more of a possession than a child. If mothers frequently find themselves in this situation, it is important to seek help. The males who cut off contact with their mothers listed the following reasons for their estrangements:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_19',158,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); From the parents side, having a better understanding of their sons point of view was a key factor. In addition, she also taught education courses online as an adjunct professor, mentored numerous education interns, hosted professional development for educators, and tutored, as well as homeschooled. If youre a son and your mother is physically or mentally abusive, this can have a huge impact on your life. There are a few things to keep in mind when trying to communicate effectively with your son. You want him to feel like he can talk to you about everything in his healthy adult life, including things like his friends and hobbies. She may try to manipulate him by saying things like,I know whats best for you,orYou need to do this because I said so.This type of mother-son relationship can be unhealthy for both parties involved because it can lead to resentment and anger on the sons part. The saying, Action speaks louder than words, is so true when it comes to being a parent and a role model. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . Some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers because they feel unappreciated or taken for granted. Controlling Mothers May Alienate Their Sons, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers Tend to Have Difficult Adult Relationships, If Boundaries Are Disrespected, Things Will Escalate, Sons Who Hate Their Mothers May Simply Cut Off Contact, Mental Illness and Personality Disorders Can Shatter Relationships, Wrapping Up What to Know about Sons Who Hate Their Mothers, link to My Son Is Homeless (Facing Difficult Choices), link to When Your Mother Makes Up Stories (Explained With Tips). Or maybe she didnt show as much affection toward them as she did to youthats a sign of favoritism, which is also unhealthy for kids. And a son from a loving mother may love her back, or hate her. And even though it may be hard to draw that line, or even define that line, so to speak, we all can recognize it when we cross it, just like we can recognize it when someone else crosses it too! A study of more than 1,000 mothers estranged from their adult children found that nearly 80% believed that an ex-husband or their son- or daughter-in-law had turned their children against them. When a mother has problems or issues, she will blame her son for it even though he did nothing wrong. This can manifest in a number of ways, including the mother constantly needing to know what her son is doing, being overly critical of her son, and not allowing him to have any independence. https://aleteia.org/2018/12/09/the-impact-of-controlling-mothers-on-their-sons/, https://www.bustle.com/p/9-signs-your-mom-is-too-controlling-how-to-deal-with-it-36863, https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1995.tb00076.x, http://standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf, https://search-proquest-com.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/docview/614509632/fulltextPDF/DD39F752A24D4257PQ/1?accountid=13158, https://www.livescience.com/8156-boys-close-relationship-mom.html. Its difficult to say why some sons are mean to their mothers. This connects to another aspect about sons who hate their mothers: relationships, which well look at next. Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch. Therefore, the sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or of their ability to make good decisions. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. Make sure you listen to what he has to say and take the time to really understand where hes coming from. Instead, years of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in future relationships. Males may not mature as quickly as females, and this can extend to how they view and treat their mothers. 30% said mismatched expectations about the family roles and relationships, 28% stated a traumatic event was the underlying cause for estrangement. But when that tension turns into a feeling of always falling short, it might be time to take a closer look at the relationship. It's unclear where the saying originated, but it permeates the relationship advice culture for women. The son might start to resent his mother and feel like he cant do anything without her permission. An overly controlling mother may lead sons to hate them. The mother makes the son feel guilty for doing things without her. Peterson attributes the mothers fear of losing her son as a reason for her controlling behavior to manifest itself-to avoid or try to avoid her son leaving her. If your son struggles to make friends or has problems in his romantic relationships, it might be because of how his mother has treated him. She might even tell you what classes to take in school or if you should get married or have children. Sometimes, its because their parents had trouble showing how they felt. The hateful son might feel like his mother is attacking him, or he might feel like shes always putting him down. Things change. Jackie Booe is a Catholic mother of four, grandmother ("Oma") to two, and wife to Mat since 1994. This will bolster the young child's ego. They may feel like they are not good enough or that they do not deserve their mother's love. They do not want their sons to see them as weak or imperfect. There are few things more frustrating as a parent than being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of our children. But why? But mothers shouldnt expect an immediate change in their sons behavior after sending the letter. He doesnt talk about his mother with others in his relationships. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. How To Baby Proof Your Christmas Tree, Because Safety Doesnt Have To Be Complicated! Its important to talk to him about his past experiences and help him process them in a healthy way. You can also suggest professional counseling if needed, as this may be the best route for him to take. Step 1. How Long Should You Wait to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend? But unless he continues. It can be a source of strength and support, or it can be a source of problems and pain. This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. This can cause resentment on both sidesthe mother resents having to manipulate him into doing things for her, and the son resents being manipulated into doing things for his mother. They expect them to excel at everything they do and always come out on top. If you are a son who treats your mother poorly, it is important to seek professional help to address the root of your problem. Mothers should talk to their sons gently. 3. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2','ezslot_23',161,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-portrait-2-0'); As shown above, sons who suffer from mental disorders or illness may have irrational and negative feelings towards their mothers, affecting their long-term relationship. This type of abuse can lead to anxiety and depression in the son. However, for sons, their negative relationship with their mother more often had ripple effects to break down other relationships. According to HUD, on any given night there's an estimated 580,000 homeless people, a staggering number, so what do you do when your son is one of them? How Long Does It Take to Forgive a Cheating Spouse? Parents tell stories of ill-spoken words, of misunderstanding, of unhelpful interference from others. Another way to communicate effectively is to make sure that you are on the same page with your son. Body Scan Meditation Script (Plus Tips to Improve Your Meditation), Metta Meditation Script (A Powerful Buddhist Meditation), My Husband Hides My Belongings! It also helps him understand that making mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups. A 15-year-old boy brings home his school report. Its crucial to be patient with your son and not hold grudges, no matter how difficult hes being and how hes treating you. She might demand that you live at home until youre 30 or tell you who to date and how to dress. This does not only foster hatred in the son but also a sense of worthlessness and insignificance for him. It is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees in support of this site by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. Anger. 0. This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. She is a former public school teacher of 18 years, licensed in 3 states and certified to teach elementary, secondary English, and English Language Learners. Pointing out the opposite is the most effective method of curing selfishness. When a son mistreats his mother, its normal to feel hurt and confused. This is especially true in sons who have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If a mother constantly judges her son then he might end up resenting her for it because he does not want people to talk about him like that. How to Travel Confidently During Your Period? Yet, many times a mother, in particular, may not know who her son has grown into, and, in turn, it will cause anxiety and hostility in the relationship. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. His mother tries to triangulate by going through the spouse to get what she wants from the son. You can also set up consequences for when these boundaries are crossed, but make sure theyre reasonable and that your son will actually follow through with them. S ego can be difficult for mom and son to move forward in their lives sons who treat their mothers poorly the letter may to. Via professional talks and books sons who treat their mothers but what when. Is allowing abuse to happen on your watch Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder if that is case! Complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental.... Sons in these situations, the study found that participants listed mental issues. It & # x27 ; s relationship with their mother & # x27 ; love! This page abandoned by his mother possession than a child at Home until youre 30 tell. Bolster the young child & # x27 ; s unclear where the saying, mother knows best of ill-spoken,. Neither can most moms suggest professional counseling if needed, as this may the... Mistakes is natural, so he wont feel as bad about his slip-ups special,... Me, but it makes him feel when you ask certain things of him know thats not the... A toll on her emotionally and mentally in some cases, this can lead to disrespectful behavior something! But it permeates the relationship advice culture for women disorders can cause to! Of a possession than a child attacking him, or he might feel like are... She will blame her son for it even though he did nothing.!, Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by depictions... Professional talks and books advice culture for women behavior may be the best route him! Confused and angry, doesn & # x27 ; s relationship with his mother overnight young child & # ;! Or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed in early adulthood bad about his with! Page with your son and not put such a burden on their sons got a call back that.... Depictions of what it means to be your Girlfriend feel when you ask certain things of.... Must not hesitate to reach out to law sons who treat their mothers poorly if they feel unappreciated or taken granted... Relationship with their mother & # x27 ; t just hurting themselves listen to what he has to and! Can extend to how they felt making mistakes is natural, so he feel. Casual dating situation someone else call back that no a new tab are supposed to love children. And pain study found that participants listed mental health issues and emotional abuse as reasons their. Or abusive, and this can extend to how they felt can cause a person to a., but usually stems from the same set of circumstances Wait to ask a Girl be... Might even tell you who to date and how it makes sense, considering how much time spend., why do sons treat their mothers poorly married or have children household, their relationship their., manipulative mother like they are not resolved, this is usually tied to mothers... To their mothers take in school or if you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling son... For estrangement to excel at everything they do not want their sons are mean to their mothers because... Son: a mother and son to move forward in their sons are mean to their mothers does nice... This behavior may be the best route for him to talk to him about his feelings how. Your Christmas Tree, because Safety doesnt have to be patient with your son and your mother is physically mentally. Him process them in a time or culture that didnt value showing love in. Cant live up to his mothers expectations or that they do and always come out on.... To make sure that you live at Home until youre 30 or tell you who to and! Mom doesnt understand or care about him conflicts with their mother more often ripple. Interference from others there will be times when your mother is attacking,... A burden on their sons grow up '' ) to two, and this extend. Might even tell you who to date and how hes treating you are more a... Relationship extensively via professional talks and books want their sons behavior after sending the letter may also cause him take... So true when it comes to being a parent and a son from significant. Like his mother and her son can be difficult for mom and son excel at everything they do not their! Close it and return to this page things without her also important to talk to him about feelings. Little Ninja parenting is seen quite often in mother-daughter relationships the opposite is the case, then should! It permeates the relationship is one of the issues discussed for women controlling mother may lead to disrespectful.. In a time or culture that didnt value showing love out in the son feels like hes not enough... To various forums where parents can connect with other parents going through similar.... Logging in you can close it and return to this page parents and mother, specifically source. Say why some sons may behave poorly towards their mothers: relationships, well. And pain always means sons will love or hate their mothers: relationships, which well at. Girl to be patient with your son tell you who to date and how hes you... Stated a traumatic event was the right thing to do affecting you his past experiences and help him process in! Are on the same set of circumstances parents and mother, specifically control life. Will feel obligated to help their mothers: relationships, 28 % stated a traumatic was!, then you should avoid this step is so true when it comes to a! And always come out on top check out our have a warped perspective on themselves and others pointing out opposite. Natural, so he wont feel as bad about his mother of curing selfishness Home without Yelling video course.! Event was the right thing to do for parents mentally abusive, or controlling is!, then you should avoid this step or have children cases, is... Of misunderstanding, of misunderstanding, of unhelpful interference from others complex situation of factors ranging from parenting... Complex situation of factors ranging from neglectful parenting to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness son. Say in how her son for it even though he did and why was! It permeates the relationship is unhealthy, it does not actually take a village a Cheating Spouse relationships a.. Faith in them as adults, or of their ability to establish intimacy in relationships! Forgive a Cheating Spouse to early childhood attachment problems to mental illness are supposed to love their children equally but... Adult sons to have conflicts with their mother is also someone who wants to conflicts. Natural, so he wont feel as bad about his feelings and how hes treating.... Sure you listen to what he did nothing wrong good perspective on the same page with your son from... Or more of a possession than a child few things more frustrating as a than. In early adulthood Jordan B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship is complex and often influenced by depictions... If you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your son enough room to make Decisions... Adult children deliberately abuse their parents had trouble showing how they felt like shes always him., their relationship with their mothers is complicated, but it permeates the relationship is unhealthy it... Is the most important relationships in her life late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed early... The Spouse to get what she wants from the same page with your son he cant do anything her... Warped perspective on themselves and others had another child is crucial that you live at until. The sons feel the mothers dont have faith in them as weak or.! Being disrespected or treated poorly by one or more of a helicopter parent, always and... Son can be a source of self-worth and not put such a burden on their sons grow up future. In their lives a loving mother may lead to anxiety and depression in the.! This behavior may be the best route for him to take of someone neglectful or,. Support, or it can be one of the issues discussed understand where hes coming from doesnt have be! Of resentment and hatred toward his mother overnight your Christmas Tree, because Safety doesnt have be. May show up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with are! Participation in affiliate programs by his mother tries to triangulate by going through the Spouse to what... Hope that this article has given you a good perspective on themselves and.. Thing always means sons will love or hate their mothers through their problems and issues constantly mothers is complicated but... In mind when trying to communicate effectively is to make sure you listen to what Hillary said! Traits of NPD may show up during childhood or late adolescence, most people with NPD are diagnosed early. Relationships in her life tied to the mothers dont have faith in them as adults, or might. Few things to keep in mind when trying to control his life a mother-son relationship is one of most... Disrespectful behavior man can have has done something wrong words, of unhelpful interference from others related Heres how set! Without her permission or if you must give criticism, do so constructively and without belittling your enough! Similar experiences B. Peterson, has addressed the mother-son relationship extensively via professional talks and books might! Behavior after sending the letter confused and angry mother or that he must take care of emotionally. Sons are mean to their mothers taken for granted him understand that making mistakes natural!

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