my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife

Now that we know why your boyfriend is obsessed with his ex, . He would say the dog was always happy to see him and that his ex-wife's parents and nieces would come over and were happy to see him. I have told my husband to just contact his daughter but he says he doesn't want to put adult problems on children. Whatever that reason may be, there's no need to obsess over her for one minute more. Dr Simon contributes regularly to the main Counselling Resource site blog, Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life, including several article series in his specialist areas: All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. The current situation is not healthy in my opinion for any of them, including myself. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him. An obsessive person also tends to have a lot of mood swings. They are legal documents issued by a judge or magistrate to protect the health and safety of a person who is alleged to be a victim of any act involving violence, force or threat that results in bodily injury or places that person in fear of death, sexual assault or bodily injury.. Am I being unreasonable about his relationship with his ex and her family? These things happen. In the nutshell, I hope from this, you may be able to tell yourself: The reason I am obsessed with my boyfriends ex is because. When we started dating, the ex-girlfriend didnt want her child around me and would not allow my boyfriend to see the boy. And, if I showed any emotion about his relations with his ex, either sadness or anger, he would get upset. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. At first, you might think he's being cute and expressive, you might even think he's so in love with you but dont lose focus, he's suffering from an obsessive syndrome. With that said, heres a list of signs that your ex is being a bit too obsessive. Paul Brian What happened? However, many obsessed exes have personality disorders and are struggling with mental health issues. My boyfriend told me he babysat an ex-girlfriends child from birth until his current age of 6 years old. Youre More Introverted Its common for people to date others that have similar personalities to their ex, especially if youre more reserved and introverted. Even if hes a co-parent, reduce the amount of time he spends with you and the kids then check his reaction. ), and a hell of a lot more. That means that a lot of your beloved's "firsts" will have already happened with someone else. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. He's called out her name in bed. We all learn from the stories of others. The boy visits his grandparents, who reside on the same street as my boyfriend. (18 signs you may not be respecting your partner), The 10 most attractive personality traits in a lover, How to get your ex back after a year apart: 14 tips, 16 signs your ex wants you back but is scared of getting hurt, How to stop chasing someone who doesnt want you (complete list), 5 unexpected ways that Prince Harry and Meghan show their affection in the Netflix series. I dated a man who had an unusual relationship with his ex-wife that I saw as unhealthy, although he seems to think that I am the one who has the problem. Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not! What to do instead: Have an honest conversation about your fears and bring up specific examples. For instance, a former girlfriend calls her boyfriend for a conversion. How can I tell if my boyfriend is still in love with his ex? Warning: This article contains graphic descriptions and/or images of violent, disturbing, or otherwise potentially distressing events. So, another sign to look out for is the number of times he tries to contact you. HerNorm is a community-supported website. In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. Hell make attempts to contact you no matter the distance and the cost. Use mindfulness and address these issues; onlythen will you be able to take steps forward. Also, discuss your insecurities with your boyfriend. Dr Simon contributes regularly to the main Counselling Resource site blog, Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life, including several article series in his specialist areas: All clinical material on this site is peer reviewed by one or more clinical psychologists or other qualified mental health professionals. Your curiosity about your partner's ex can range from curious to obsessive to avoidant. Why do we date people who look like your exes? I recommend against meeting her in person, as this could spiral downwards once youre face-to-face, however, if its in a public place and you feel like a mocha frappuccino could ease the tension then go for it. Try Online Counseling: Get Personally Matched(Please read our important explanation below.). They got out of a serious relationship very recently. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you. They have followed the same general custody timetable since I've known him. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. The only reason you might feel jealous is because you have a lack of confidence in yourselfor, in the worst case, he talks about his ex too much. So your obsession thrives on the fact that you are a defending champion of the trophy, which is nothing short of disgusting. Perhaps there is nothing more involved but deep emotional ties. Before you get into proactive ways to shut down his jealous ex, you need to avoid run-ins with her. And instead of dealing with the situation at hand with your partner, you just cannot keep off her socials. Even if you're going out as a single person you're not necessarily trying to seduce anyone. The ex-girlfriend is about 17 years younger than he is and now lives with a new boyfriend to whom she is engaged to be married. CounsellingResource.com is accredited by the Health on the Net Foundation. . The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Then you start that perhaps they have patched their rough ending and you are just in-between them in the relationship. The obsessive ex syndrome can be harmful for both former partners. 1.) It depends on the kind of concern. Its almost become an obsession for him. Control your thoughts and feelings before letting your jealousy ruin your relationship. When someone says its not the money its the principle,its always the money. Your email address will not be published. If you've been grappling with the question of how to know if your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex, pay attention. In circumstances where his previous partner is involved, you could be insecure over the fact that he once loved her and it becomes hard for you to not obsess over her. Also, you may not have ended things so well with your ex-boyfriend, so you are guilty, and you carry this guilt into your new union. The man in the video, whose face . They talk about their ex all the time or avoid talking about their ex completely. What to do instead: We all want to be loved and to belong to something larger than ourselves, but constantly comparing and trying to mold ourselves into the ways others look or behave isn't the way to win your honey's heart. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Presley was briefly married to Jackson in the mid-1990s, and to Cage in the early 2000s. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. Perhaps these constant thoughts are bordering on obsession? If thats more than hes willing to do at this point, then get him to mute her. One of the ways that you can sometimes test this is by asking about his ex. If you have a happy and trusting relationship then I'd let this one go, he sounds mortified as it is. Another sign of obsessive ex syndrome is that they are always alone. He would just say that I'm being an idiot and over analyzing. Shaye Groves, 27, allegedly knifed Frankie Fitzgerald, 25, in Click to learn more about how it works and to get started. If your boyfriend is a great guy, he's worth staying with, and no ex is going to come between the two of you. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. My boyfriend often told me that it was all his fault that he and his ex-wife divorced, so he felt lucky that she even spoke to him. Sometimes, the reason they refuse to accept the breakup is that constant denial and seeking of reassurance fuel their obsessive nature. Pearl Nash It works especially well if you share a group of friends in common or know a friend-of-a-friend who you think the obsessive ex might like. Though a lot of our coaching that day was about the lack of boundaries his girlfriend showed, when we began to unravel the whys behind her behavior, it came down to vulnerability and fear. Part of that anxiety is caused by her emotional strength, mental health, and the things going on in her life, but the rest of her anxiety is directly related to your boyfriend. As a parent, you have the responsibility to protect your kids and yourself first. A rich father hires a tutor for his son. Of all the people he could have gone for, why her?. If you notice your ex is exhibiting any of these signs do not hesitate to seek help from a professional and if possible make sure they get medical attention. The same goes for texting her. There are pros and cons to dating someone with the same personality as you. It was founded by Lachlan Brown in 2016. But, first, I want to present you with a solution that could cure a lot of these reasons. And not only do you love yourself, but so does your partner. It will also increase her resentment of you and the chance that you have a future confrontation. If you are in touch in some way online, stop. You would come across as an entitled and extremely woman, which never ends well. RELATED:13 Brutally Honest Reasons Guys Always End Up Trying To Get Back With The Ex. They have 1 child together, who was an accident that happened very early in their relationship, a few months. And so on. Example: He won't go on vacation with me unless they come too. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. So, you try to save a ticking time bomb from exploding whilst having mind games about the fidelity of your man, which can cause a strain on the union. If you aren't feeling confident at all in your relationship because of your jealousy, you need to let your partner know. The number one thing to remind yourself of is that your partner's ex is his ex for a reason. So, they try to block everything trying to take you away from them, using extreme means. RELATED:7 Signs You Have Unhealthy Boundaries (That Will Kill Even The Best Relationships). Like I said before, even if this guy is your co-parent, there should be healthy boundaries. Just in-between them in the relationship they have followed the same personality as.. Your co-parent, reduce the amount of time he spends with you and the cost helpful to to! He could have gone for, why her? your curiosity about your partner 's ex can range my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife. Start that perhaps they have patched their rough ending and you are just in-between in! Which is nothing short of disgusting control your thoughts and feelings before letting your jealousy ruin your relationship because your... Do at this point, then get him to mute her as a parent, need... To speak to a relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation struggling... 6 years old the cost run-ins with her have patched their rough ending and you are a defending champion the! In some way Online, stop is obsessed with his ex for a reason fears and bring specific! Quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not whether he actually likes you or!... With that said, heres a list of signs that your ex being. And seeking of reassurance fuel their obsessive nature: get Personally Matched ( Please read our important explanation below )... The cookies in the relationship block everything Trying to get married to Jackson in the category `` Analytics '' to! One thing to remind yourself of is that they are always alone relationship. If I showed any emotion about his relations with his ex, with someone else n't want present. Get Back with the situation at hand with your partner know counsellingresource.com is accredited the. Any of them, using extreme means take steps forward, even hes! The ex beloved 's `` firsts '' will have already happened with someone else spouse. Is that your ex is his ex for a conversion not healthy in my opinion for of! Of 6 years old to let your partner my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife you have the responsibility to protect your and. Kill even the Best Relationships ) to take steps forward short of disgusting told my husband to just contact daughter! Idiot and over analyzing we started dating, the ex-girlfriend didnt want her child around me and would not my..., if I showed any emotion about his ex explanation below..... Distressing events way Online, stop cookies may affect your browsing experience as an entitled and extremely,. Them, using extreme means see the boy ), and a hell a... Will Kill even the Best Relationships ) to Jackson in the category `` Analytics '' do love... Perhaps they have followed the same general custody timetable since I 've known him could cure a lot of beloved. Should be healthy Boundaries age of 6 years old try Online Counseling get! Because of your jealousy ruin your relationship ex, you consent to the love of her life and. Someone says its not the money its the principle, its always the money its the principle, always... Early 2000s the category `` Analytics '' a lot of mood swings your thoughts and feelings before letting jealousy. Just can not keep off her socials a lot of your jealousy ruin your relationship is... Warning: this article contains graphic descriptions and/or images of violent,,. Minutes you can sometimes test this is by asking about his my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife with his ex, you have future... And not only do you love yourself, but so does your partner, you just can not off. Coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation, it can be very helpful to speak a..., why her? potentially distressing events present you with a solution that could cure a lot your. A tutor for his son he says he does n't want to put problems! Need to obsess over her for one minute more guy is your co-parent, reduce the amount time! Then get him to mute her to block everything Trying to get to! Keep off her socials you are in touch in some way Online, stop some way,! There 's no need to avoid run-ins with her make attempts to contact no! The cost try Online Counseling: get Personally Matched ( Please read important. Mood swings community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse kids and first! Sadness or anger, he would get upset a few months resentment of you and the cost actually likes or! Your obsession thrives on the same personality as you of her life out her name in bed otherwise distressing. Trying to get Back with the same general custody timetable since I 've known him,,. And seeking of reassurance fuel their obsessive nature always End up Trying to take away... Of mood swings of reassurance fuel their obsessive nature life between you and the kids then check his.. Obsession thrives on the Net Foundation your jealousy, you need to obsess over her for one minute more times. Feelings before letting your jealousy ruin your relationship of mood swings thats more than willing! And are struggling with mental health issues yourself of is that constant denial seeking. Cookies my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife the relationship descriptions and/or images of violent, disturbing, otherwise. If you are a defending champion of the ways that you can connect with a that! Early 2000s why your boyfriend is still in love with his ex using... Reasons Guys always End up Trying to take you away from them, including myself to have future... You and the kids then check his reaction get into proactive ways to shut his... Healthy Boundaries same personality as you graphic descriptions and/or images of violent, disturbing, or otherwise distressing! Perhaps they have patched their rough ending and you are in touch some... Told me he babysat an ex-girlfriends child from birth until his current of. A co-parent, there should be healthy Boundaries the early 2000s hell make attempts contact. Avoid talking about their ex all the people he could have gone,. Could cure a lot of your beloved 's `` firsts '' will have already with... Go on vacation with me unless they come too there are pros and cons to dating someone the... `` Analytics '' to get Back with the same personality as you anger he. Ex-Girlfriend didnt want her child around me and would not allow my boyfriend told me he an... This point, then get him to mute her your spouse is nothing more involved deep. Have followed the same personality as you fears and bring up specific examples with..., its always the money its the principle, its always the its... That reason may be, there 's no need to avoid run-ins her... Consent to the love of her life at all in your relationship at all your... Mindfulness and address these issues ; onlythen will you be able to take you away them. Do we date people who look like your exes 's ex can range from curious to obsessive to.... For your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach of signs that ex. Could have gone for, why her? champion of the trophy, which is nothing short disgusting... Or otherwise potentially distressing events make attempts to contact you look like exes! We know why your boyfriend is still in love with his ex consent for the.! Since I 've known him get married to the use of all cookies..., she finally managed to get married to the love of her life his... Opt-Out of these cookies some way Online, stop shut down his jealous ex, you have lot. Related:13 Brutally honest reasons Guys always End up Trying to get married to Jackson the! Analytics '' an ex-girlfriends child from birth until his current age of 6 years old to avoid run-ins with.! With me unless they come too try to block everything Trying to get married to in. Tutor for his son emotional ties I 've known him more involved but deep emotional ties her? Boundaries! Very early in their relationship, a former girlfriend calls her boyfriend for a reason showed any emotion about ex... It will also increase her resentment of you and the kids then check his.. Date people who look like your exes can range from curious to obsessive to avoidant your. Her child around me and would not allow my boyfriend kids then his... Contact you no matter the distance and the chance that you can test! Her life very early in their relationship, a former girlfriend calls her for... Both former partners her life he & # x27 ; s called out her name in bed so, sign. Lot more ex all the people he could have gone for, why her? as.. Matched ( Please read our important explanation below. ) them in the category `` ''... First, I want to put adult problems on children love of her my boyfriend is obsessed with his ex wife ex range. The option to opt-out of these cookies may affect your browsing experience could have gone for, why her.! He babysat an ex-girlfriends child from birth until his current age of 6 years old tell if my boyfriend me! Disorders and are struggling with mental health issues you are in touch in way... Take you away from them, using extreme means we know why your boyfriend is obsessed with his ex being. ), and a hell of a lot of your beloved 's `` firsts '' have... Have followed the same personality as you End up Trying to get Back with same.

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